Relationships can be stressed and stretched thin amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Competing demands from family, friends, and work take their toll, depleting our resources as we try to keep all the balls in the air. We find ourselves snapping at loved ones and finding them dismissive of us. During this time, it is easy to move hectically from one thing to the next, just trying to make it through to New Years Day when we can put it all behind us and get back to “normal” life. We may not feel we have time to deal with the hurt feelings that happen along the way.
Again, you may look forward to the awesome time with friends and family, the reconnections that can happen at a special time of year, the lights, fun, and play that happens. Perhaps there is so much that when it all comes to an end and you don’t want to face putting the tree on the curb and taking the lights off the house, you feel let down and disappointed. Maybe you just feel exhausted and worn out.
If any of this describes your experience, why not make this year a little different? Why not take charge now so that you don’t have to crash come January 1 and find yourself in the wake of a damaged relationship?
There are some very simple things you can do that will help. First, identify and then let go of clutter, confusion, and negativity from your mind. Notice the things that are taking up mental energy that do not feel energizing, exciting, or comforting. If you do not know why you are doing something, give yourself permission not to do it. If you do why you are doing it, recognize that you are making the choice, and that no one is forcing you to. Let go of the negativity of believing that you are a victim to others’ demands.
Second, set forth an intention to manifest something today and make a mental declaration of it. It may be an hour to yourself or to find that perfect gift for a beloved parent. It may be for a moment of connection with your spouse or partner in the midst of your busy schedules. Say your intention out loud or write it down.
Third, be expectant and be ready to receive your intention. Do not sabotage your day by immediately following your intention with, “…but that will never happen!” Expect and look for it to happen. Believe that it is yours already.
Fourth, make sure you schedule down time. Introverts and extroverts alike can both experience “brown-out”, though they handle that space very differently. Plan for some time and give yourself permission to take a step back, reflect on what space and calm feels like; savor it before you jump back into the fray. Perhaps, it’s just a few minutes; maybe it’s an entire day.
Next, visualize your intention happening in exactly the way you want it to. See it, feel it, hear it, and then look forward to it.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, take just a few moments to feel and express gratitude for the wonderful things you already have, all of which are gifts from friends, family, or a higher power. Rather than looking at those with whom you are in conflict or estranged from as your worst enemy, threatening you with their demands and expectations to take what little you feel you have, look at the gifts they have given you. Then go one step further and thank yourself for the gifts you have given them. Don’t stop at material things either. Acknowledge the gifts of love and support that have been given and received in the littlest of ways each day.
Each of these steps take relatively little time, but they do require just a little of your focused time and attention each day. It does not matter if you start or close each day with them. It only matters if you give yourself the gift of just five minutes to pause, breathe deeply, and acknowledge the gifts you have and ask for the gifts you want. When you do this, you will be amazed at how your interactions with loved ones, co-workers, and strangers can be filled with light, fun and closeness.
