These past few years I have been initiated into the practice of forgiveness. It has not been easy and the road has never been straight. I have not always known that forgiveness was what was being asked of me. At times it has been a grind so painful, so confusing, and yes even despairing. But without a doubt this path I have persisted on has brought me to where I could never have gotten otherwise, to a place of healing, freedom and power…

Lately, I’ve been sitting with the need to discern—deeply—between what is a craving and what is a calling. Whether it arises in my body, my mind, or my heart, the distinction isn’t always obvious. In truth, I’ve been pondering this question most of my life. We often get attached to what we once needed. But do we have the skill—and the courage—to recognize when something is no longer necessary? Are we ever taught that what we need today might not be what we need tomorrow?…

Scott joins Andrea Dragonfly on her podcast, CONNECTED.,  to discuss and share his insight into the intersection of spirituality and psychology, and the importance of integrating the two during these unprecedented times in humanity’s development.

I have lost count of the times I have heard clients and friends tell me, “It feels like I don’t know who I am”. And it takes me back to when I was asking myself this core question that we are all asking about ourselves.  I struggled for weeks with this question, reviewing my whole life and writing down the things I had done, the roles I had played (not to mention the roles I had been assigned and put into against my choice!).  But I was never satisfied by the answers.  Defining Who I Am in terms of What I Do just seemed too limiting, inauthentic, and confining in a way that didn’t feel big enough for such a big question….

We are talking all about the nervous system with Scott David. Scott David Clift is a journeyer, student, integrator, guide, sage, somatic attachment therapist, writer, visionary, trainer, coach, and consultant. He works at the intersection of the liminal and the limited, helping individuals and groups to channel their inherent power as creatures of nature into the workings of their lives….

This journal structure is designed with very specific instructions to accomplish a very specific outcome. Simply put, the specific outcome is to DO something that reorients your thoughts and focus to something that is positive. Rather than using old neural pathways that are associated with fear, deficiency, lack, or inadequacy, this journal, when done daily, builds stronger neural pathways associated with hope, sufficiency, adequacy, agency, confidence, and safety. In order to create this benefit for your brain, you must complete the first three steps….

You guessed it.  This article is all about mental hygiene.  What it is, why we need to do it, and just a few ways that not attending to the health of our mind can contribute in huge ways to chronic conditions in our physical bodies. Many of us were taught daily strategies of maintenance and self-care like regular exercise, a healthy diet, regular sleep patterns, etc. Just like you isolate your teeth for brushing and flossing every night to clear out the junk accumulated throughout the day through just eating and living, do you spend even 2 minutes a day cleaning out the junk in your mind?….

For many, the holidays are a time to be together with loved ones and family, a time to re-connect and express appreciation for each other and lives shared together.  For many, many others however, it is a time of painful reminders, made especially painful because of what the season is “supposed” to bring: love, joy, and peace and reconnection. This Holiday Season, be present to what may be your particular situation, and be open to the mix of emotions many experience this time of year.  For this is a time of reflection and introspection, a time to take stock….

Relationships can be stressed and stretched thin amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays.  Competing demands from family, friends, and work  take their toll, depleting our resources as we try to keep all the balls in the air.  We find ourselves snapping at loved ones and finding them dismissive of us.  During this time, it is easy to move hectically from one thing to the next, just trying to make it through to New Years Day when we can put it all behind us and get back to “normal” life. If any of this describes your experience, why not make this year a little different?….

As a parent, I have long been aware of what I consider the only “rule” for great parenting: as soon as I think I have figured out how to be a good parent for my child, he is going to change, grow, or develop in some way that renders what I have figured out obsolete; I will have to start all over figuring out what he needs. As humans, our spirit-soul-intuition has access to worlds and universes beyond what our bodies and minds can fathom or contain.  We know and sense in a part of ourselves Something we simply cannot grasp with the limitations of our body-mind….

We all have a story about feeling vulnerable. For many, the experience of vulnerability conjures a great deal of fear (even terror), and a history of avoiding situations, conversations, and interactions that invoke intolerable. For others, sharing their vulnerability is a persistent driving force in their lives, bordering on an obsession, as they constantly seek out people and opportunities with whom they disclose their hurts, fears, or sense of helplessness.  Our culture has betrayed us with messages that feeling vulnerable proves we are weak or defective, and in fact in many ways has created a crucible around a feeling that is shared by every single person.

I was reminded again this morning of these words that have served me so well in the past, yet are so easy to forget: “Being gentle, being slow.”  In our fast-paced world it can sure seem that everyone but us seems to balance the incredible amounts of stimulation and constant flow of information and choices, the myriad expectations of family life and workplace, or our own minds that are relentlessly planning, sorting, prioritizing, and producing. We sense the constant nagging sensation in the bottom of our gut that somehow, somewhere soon…someone will find us out that we simply aren’t keeping up as well as we ought to…..

Finding compassion,
The Journey belongs to no one.
I come home to now.

This haiku came to me as I was sitting with my morning coffee today. And as I repeated it with each breath in meditation, its power facilitated a release in my body and mind. I found my mind settling in with solid purpose, realizing that one of the highest available pursuits offered is to tap the incredible power of experiencing compassion from moment to moment. Every moment of our lives can be bombarded with concern, worry, planning, scheming, sorting, and navigating the constant stream of information, opportunities, and threats….

As a developmental therapist, I am always looking to answer one question when working with my clients: Where did their challenge/struggle/difficulty originate? The answer is rarely simple, and never is it one-dimensional. In fact, when seeking to answer such a question, it is vital that we as therapists take into account the multifaceted experiences that form us in mind, body, and spirit. Working with men can be a particular challenge, as many of the interventions and therapeutic approaches tend to ignore unique developmental issues and societal assumptions about what it means to be a man….

I am constantly asked by clients HOW they can change unwanted patterns in their lives. The question is varied but usually revolves around the same theme:  “I keep doing the same thing even though I don’t want to be doing it.” But why is it that so many of our good intentions only end up bringing us full circle back to the same place, leaving us feel stuck, anxious, hopeless, and powerless? It all starts in the brain and the how the brain is wired to continue to repeat the same patterns….

For many people, the ability to make changes comes naturally, depending on the nature of the change.  Trying a new food, learning a new task, making a new friend, starting a new job…these may just be part of daily life.  For the most part though, we are merely changing what we are doing, where we are going, and it’s not too difficult.
What if, however, the change that needs to happen, is one on the inside?  A change within the fabric of our being, and change in how we see ourselves in our core identity?  Then the issue of change is difficult, even if we can’t tolerate what we see when we look inside.

You may be one of the folks out there who think that a fulfilling relationship is based on mutual support and selfless giving. Setting boundaries is not necessary because you want the other person to know that you care and will do anything for them. But while this works and feels good through the first stages of a new and exciting relationship, a fulfilling relationship has to be constructed after the honeymoon ends and all those responsibilities you let go, the friends you’ve ignored, or the exhaustion of being out of your normal rhythms kicks in. But at some point you feel a shift….

Everyone wants that perfect relationship, don’t they?  It seems that with all the images of intimacy and romance that are thrown around it should be easy. From movies to TV shows, advertising to the conversations at the water cooler, it seems there is a collective narrative that once you find “The One”, your trials and tribulations will be over. Yet somehow this just doesn’t account for the ever rising divorce rate, the increase in depression and anxiety disorders, and increased expenditures on weight loss and appearance enhancing products and services.  Relationships are tough and often painful.  Not just when they end, mind you, but the really good ones are painful in the very midst of them.

I am reminded today that taking pause to reflect can be such a healthy and necessary practice to incorporate into our lives.  Whatever your views may be on issues of politics, military endeavors, or the like, today is a useful day for us all to pause and reflect and in short, to remember.  Here are 5 suggestions you can use for deep remembering that will bring you home to your center and your power….

In my line of work as a therapist, I see most often that people struggle with their self-limiting thoughts and beliefs.  Over the years I’ve started to put a list together of the beliefs I hear that, for each of the people saying them, indicate the ways they have been giving their power away to change their lives for the better.  See how many of the following you can identify in your own thought patterns, so that you can shed a little light on how you are holding yourself back….